Doc Ott’s Apologia Blog

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
–Frank Outlaw

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. –Ivan Minic

Most of us have personal opinions. Some of them might be so entrenched and heart felt we might call them convictions. Abortion, the war of terrorism, affirmative action, education, conservatism, liberalism, whatever. What has shaped what side we fall on in these issues? It depends on how we were brought up and who told us about it. The first person (whom you trust) who tells you about any such topic will probably do a good job in convincing you their way.
What we all must do is not to be closed minded about the other side of the argument. If you simply choose to hold onto one side of an issue and not even consider the other side, well, then your opinion has little weight in my eyes. Many people who are pro-life do not understand that abortions were going on long before they were legal. They were sometimes referred to as ‘back alley’ abortions. If, for whatever reason, the law was changed, abortions would continue, and they would not be done in a controlled safe place of a hospital. If you are pro-choice, understand that those who are pro-life believe that God created that fetus and that it should be born, raised and nurtured, just like every other child brought into this world. They care for children and the human race. I say this to emphasize that neither side is ‘wrong’ once you choose to analyze WHY they feel that way. To brush off someone’s opinion as incorrect because they are stupid, arrogant, or just clueless is to desecrate their right to have an opinion and makes your opinion equally worthless.
I consider myself slightly left of center, politically. I have slowly drifted left in the last 10 years, probably because of discussions with my lovely wife (who is rather left wing) Every once in a while I listen to Rush Limbaugh or some other ultra ring wing talk show. Sure, I disagree with many things that they are saying, but that is not the reason I listen. I listen so I can understand better where they are coming from.
If you want to change someone’s opinion on anything, you cannot start by saying ‘You’re wrong and here is why’ That just won’t work, as you have put them on the defensive and they will probably tune you out. You certainly won’t convince them of anything. To convince them, you need to start out where they are for the reasons that they are. Make them feel comfortable and then walk them gently to your side of the argument. Help them to see the other side. Only then, can they make the conscience decision to (maybe) change their opinion. You have to be nice about it though, and you have to understand if they disagree anyways.
There are those who will not change their opinion at all as a matter of personal pride. I know of many people who simply refuse to see that what the Bush administration did was wrong when they invaded Iraq. No WMD’s were found, Saddam had no connection to 9/11 whatsoever. We invaded a sovereign country for no reason whatsoever. Usually when countries do that (Germany in WWII, Iraq in 1990, north Vietnam) the world community gets really ticked and fights back. When we did it, nobody said boo. But that’s for another time. My point is that some people still think Bush is doing a good job. Why? Who knows. Because they voted for him and don’t want to admit it was a mistake?
It is perfectly all right to change your opinion. Being an American allows you that freedom to question authority, to be on the minority side of an argument. We have no political prisoners here, which is a great thing if you ask me.
Making an opinion is a personal choice, nobody can force you to feel one way or the other.

One of the great things about being an American citizen is that I get to do (almost) whatever I want for fun. Assuming I do not hurt anyone in the process, I get a lot of leeway to enjoy the world around me. In some cases, that activity might be dangerous, and if so I might get hurt.
If I engage in rock climbing, skiing, skydiving, other any other extreme sport, I do not expect recompense if accidents happen. Sure, my health care coverage MIGHT cover it, but not necessarily. Was it an ‘accident’ that you fell off the mountain as your were climbing it? Most insurance companies will ask you if you have (or ever will) skydive. And if so, they tend to not cover you. Why? How many people die skydiving every year compared to the number of people who die driving every day? That discussion is for another time. My point here is that people need to own up to their personal choices. I am not going to say you should not smoke or do drugs, but I am saying that you should be responsible for any negative outcomes that arise due to your choices.
It’s called risk assessment, and I learned it back in the military. Before every operation you analyze what the good of the operation is compared to the potential (probability and severity) hazards of the operation. If the hazards outweigh the benefits, you might want to re-consider the operation. When you make a personal choice to do something (that everyone who is paying attention to the world going by knows) and you consciously choose to do it, that fine. But when something bad happens, don’t expect me or my tax dollars to bail you out. That’s the problem with today’s world. People expect the government to bail them out. Where is that in the constitution? A wise comedian once said “Life sucks, get a f’ing helmet”
There are a bunch of people who live in South Carolina who get a brand new house (million dollar house) on the Atlantic coast for free every few years. Great for them, right? Wrong, US tax dollars pay for that. See, no insurance company sells hurricane insurance to someone who lives in a location that gets slammed every few years. The government (because we feel sorry for these people who lost their home) give money for them to build a brand new home, on the beach, right next to where the old one was. They know the dangers of living there, but what the heck. If my house gets smashed, I get a new one for free.

Smoking – If you smoke and have not figured out that it is bad for you, it is because you choose to defy the information that is plastered everywhere, it’s even on the box ‘This crap will kill you!’. Heck, even cigarette companies, the ones who sell you those death sticks are telling you its bad and here is what you can do to quit. We all know its bad for us, but many of us still do it? Why? It feels good, it relaxes us. It’s a personal risk assessment, just like every other risky behavior. If you want to shorten your life by a few minutes and light up a smoke, go ahead. But don’t expect your insurance company to pay for your lung cancer treatment.

Motorcycle without helmet – We have a helmet law here in Michigan, but many states do not. If you want the wind to blow in your hair, that’s fine. But when you get into an accident and your brain get scrambled, don’t expect me to feel sorry for you in your coma.

Getting out of the way of a hurricane – So the national hurricane center is getting better at predicting where hurricane hits. Local officials sometimes want to make sure people are safe and they call for mandatory evacuation. Ok, so that means it going to be really bad, so you had better get out. If you choose to ‘wait it out’ (some do not have the means, which is sad, but I am referring to people that have the means who deliberately say they are going to ride it out) then when the storm comes and floats your house away, I think you should have to swim to safety. You had the opportunity, we told you it was going to be bad and you chose not to heed the warnings. Your fault. No sympathy from me.

Drugs – They are bad for you, are you not paying attention to the Partnership for a Drug Free America? Haven’t you noticed the thousands who get hooked on nasty stuff and their lives are destroyed? It obviously is dangerous and you need to take responsibility. Once your hooked, that chemical dependency is hard to break, I understand. But you were not an addict that first time, were you?

Fast food – Yikes, this one is tough because lots of people do it and still don’t understand that it is bad for you. The government is trying to tell people that fast food is bad, but their budget is a very small percentage of the advertising budget of the food companies. If you have not seen it, you must watch Supersize Me. It is a great documentary that exposes the truly sad nature of fast food and what it is doing to American society. If you choose to eat incredibly unhealthy food, you should sign a waiver saying taxpayer money should not pay for it.

Ok, so it is not hard to see that America is getting fatter as a nation. We hear about it on the evening news, read about it the paper, and yet we don’t seem to be changing anything about our lifestyle. We all know that eating too much is bad. Most of us know that the fast food industry is advertising something fierce to make me buy more crappy food. Heck, movies have been made rebelling against the fast food industry, yet we get fatter and fatter.
We are getting inundated with food advertising, no doubt, but somewhere I read that I should be exercising too. Hmmm. Is America exercising much these days? Not that I can see. Wait, what about television? I think 4 hours a day is a little too much, so maybe we should start getting up from the television. If you ask me, the quality of television is just going down the toilet bowl. I have not watched a 30 minute sit-com in probably 6 years. What I do see of them is a complete waste of time. Watching paint dry is more exciting, because at least that is being productive. Don’t get me wrong, I like some television. Every night as I go to bed I turn on the History channel. If that does not have anything cool, I go over to Discovery or TLC. In the event those three stations all suck, I go with CNN. I watch a little football now and then, but the rest of the time I am listening to music and getting on with my life, doing something productive. Building boats, going for a run, playing with my kid, working to become a better professor, whatever. I can think of about 5325 different things that are a better use of my time than watching television.
Exercise is good for our bodies and prolongs life, but what about that glorious runners high? Dude, that’s reason enough to go out for a nice workout, let alone that whole healthy body thing. If I have 30 minutes free, what ‘good’ is coming out of watching a gimcrack of a television show? The answer is it brought me 30 minutes closer to my death. Wow, I can never have that 30 minutes back. What a waste of my time. People complain about wasting time in traffic, or waiting in line. What about the time they spend in front of a television, unmoving, barely engaged, hearing about the latest dish at the local restaurant, watching bad television. They don’t complain about that because it was a personal choice. They choose to sit there. They choose to no go exercise. No one to blame but yourself, my friend.
We seem to be getting more lazy at the same time. Microwave meals, pre-sliced cheese, lunchables, remote controls, tivo, jeez. Get off the damn couch and make yourself some food. We are spending more time at work though, so we must be better workers. Wait, if we are spending more time at work, that means we are spending less time living. Why are we doing that?
What the heck is your purpose on this planet? Is it to cash a paycheck? If it is, then that’s sad. Any time you are spending at work is time you are not living. Unless, of course, you are on of those lucky people who truly love your job, enjoy spending many hours a week away from your family making the world a better place. In those rare cases, you are alive all the time. Most of us do not have that luxury.

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
It is by being alive to difficulty that one can avoid it. The sage meets with no difficulty. It is because he is alive to it that he meets with no difficulty.
-Verse 71 tao te ching

So here is something that I found this evening. These are words that I could live by now. Two years ago, I would not have understood them.

Knowing others is to be clever.
Knowing yourself is to be enlightened.
Overcoming others requires force.
Overcoming yourself requires strength.
To know that you have enough is to be rich.
Push through and you may get your way,but return home and you will endure.
Live out your days and you have had a long life.
-Verse 33 tao te ching

今天是您持續
My mother was a sweet, wonderful pediatric nurse at the University of Wisconsin Hospital for 30 some odd years. In her work, she cared for many a small child that spend there last days alive in her care. She once told me that some of her colleagues treated the kids like they had already passed away. My mother was different. She treated them all like normal little kids. She joked with them, played with them, cared for them as if they were going to be fine. It was a personal philosophy that she held deeply. Many times those children did die. She would be hurt in the short term, but would recover knowing that she helped them in those last days, and not by coddling them, but by playing with them. When her father passed away, I remember that she was sad, but OK. She knew his time was ended, and she had always been open with her father, so nothing was left on the table. She enjoyed the time they had together, and that was more important. We all know people will leave us, through moving to another state or by someone’s death. Accept it. Don’t be scared of it, it is going to happen. You should spend the time you have enjoying one another, because it will end.
In every personal relationship that my mother has (or had) she always said ‘goodbye’ to the friend when they parted as if it was the last time she would see them. It was not because she no longer wanted to see them or talk with them, it was to prevent anything from being held back. The worst tragedy, she once said, is losing someone and saying ‘There is so much I wanted to say to that person’ or ‘I wanted to apologize for something I did to them a long time ago’. If you assume you will never see that person again, you become much more open and honest with that person and yourself. You can sum it up in a short phrase that is nothing short of my own personal mantra, Today is Your Last.
Those who know me understand that I am very honest. Life is too short for me to talk to you in cryptic messages and hope you get what I am trying to say. I detest that entire mentality. Why not just speak the truth? If the person gets offended at your meaning, they would have been offended had they correctly translated your cryptic opine. I tell people that if they do not know my opinion on a topic, it is because they are not paying attention. Yes, some dislike me because of my aplomb, but it might be because they do not have it themselves.
‘Today is your last’ is such a simple concept. Live every day as if it is your last day on this precious Earth. If you do so, and truly hold that mentality dear, you will enjoy every day. You will let go of petty concerns that you have no control over. You let go of grudges against your fellow human being. You learn to take every opportunity to enjoy life. You realize that spending time watching a droll television show is a waste of life energy you will never get back. A conversation with a friend whom you have not seen in months is a much more fruitful use of time. Spend more time with your kids. Stop living to work and start working to live.
No matter how much money you make in your job, there will always be that thing, that material element that is just outside of your financial reach. Whether you make 25K a year or 125K, there will always be that one thing. That is why almost everyone I know want to try to make that little ‘extra’ so they can get that next thing. Everyone is fighting for that almighty dollar. Why? So you can have it when you die? Ummm, sorry, you can’t take it with you.
I laugh at people who hate there jobs and mope about waiting for that day they can retire. Why? Aren’t there things that you want to do know that you might not be able to when you retire? Are you just coasting through life, waiting to start ‘living’ at age 65? What happens if you leave this plane of existence tomorrow? What can you say that you did that you enjoyed. Every day I say to myself, today is a good day to die. Why can I be so morbid sounding? Because I have lived every day as my last. Every day I appreciate that I have been given one more day to enjoy the beautiful bounty given to me. I have lived my life and done almost everything I have ever wanted to do. Some people collect t-shirts, some collect coffee cups, some collect little teddy bears. I collect hobbies.
I have gone through lots of phases of hobbies in the last 5 years. Whether it be abstract art, geocaching, or boatbuilding, I go through phases of what I do for fun. Why does it keep changing? Because I am always looking for new, interesting, fun things to do. Why is that so wrong? I have lots of energy. Yup, why? Because every day I am out having fun. It can be in class, at home with my wife and child or out in the garage building a kayak. My energy, excitement, and forward attitude all come from one place, my vim for life and living every single day as my last.

As any of you who know me can attest. I am the poster child for ADHD medication. I show every symptom of it. Never once have I been prescribed (nor would I ever take) medication for my condition. It was that condition that got me where I am today. I stumbled on this article which talks about us people who have it might be good to have around. Interesting read, especially when you consider how many zillions of kids are put on Ritalin these days.
http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100110773

And unfortunately, there are too many sites like this http://www.helpforadd.com/over.htm which all say ‘put the kids on drugs. Sorry, I disagree. But then again, I only achieved a Ph.D. at age 25, so I must be screwed up in the head. I can’t concentrate, easily distracted, full of creativity. You should see me teach my college students!!

Drugs for kids with ADHD seems so big brother-esqe. If the kid is easily distracted in class it might be because they are bored, not because they can’t sit still. I am SO glad I grew up in a time where I was just classified as ‘hyper’ and people just accepted it.

We ok, here are two pictures of me. One was taken in October of 1990 as I was getting my passport to travel to Haiti to do some missionary work. The other was taken exactly 15 year slater (october 2005) when I was renewing my passport and needed a new picture. It looks to me that I could have used the old one.