How to really convince someone of something
Ok, so we are now in year 5 of the Bush presidency and it is obvious that the country seems to becoming more divisive and fragmentary. The war in Iraq is a good example, in that there are people all for it and people vehemently opposed to it. The last presidential election was between two guys at the absolute extremes of their parties. Ick. It seems every time I watch CNN talking about a controversial topic they bring on people who are completely stuck in their opinions and will never, ever change their mind. I contend that the easiest way NOT to convince someone to change their opinion (and isn’t that what we are really trying to do when debating with someone?) is not to start the conversation with the equivalent of ‘your idea is wrong and here is why’. Anyone with any backbone will immediately go on the defensive and rebel. Even if they deep down like your argument, their pride in their previously held opinion will not allow them to accept your views, at least at that time and place. If your goal is to truly convince someone that their views are flawed, uninformed, whatever, you must first start looking at the world through their eyes.
Start with the world as they see it. Show them that you understand their side of the argument. Only then can they trust you that you understand what they believe. The better you can convince them that you understand WHY they believe what they believe, the more credibility you have in their eyes. If you spend the first 5 minutes talking to them in their language saying the things that they believe, they shut up. They agree and nod their head with you. They get comfortable and your job of convincing them their ideas are wrong (your true goal, right?) is much much easier. The key to the whole operation is that you must take the time to understand their side. If you do not genuinely understand why they believe what they believe, you will never convince them. This is the reason I enjoy Rush Limbaugh and other right wing fanatic talk radio shows. I completely disagree with them, but I learn so much about why they believe they are correct and the rest of us are wrong. They of course, do not practice any of what I have said above and they say the same old ‘those liberals are just stupid’ which is of course, a hollow statement only emphasizing their ignorance to the big picture.
Anyone who says their religion is better than any other religion is, by definition, uninformed. It is just that simple. Anyone who says that the US is the best place to live because of freedoms and democracy but who has never lived anywhere else (or done the research) is just a fool. Open your darn eyes and see the world through some other glasses besides your own before you start spewing that your version of the world is the best and most informed, because it isn’t. Get over yourself. If you want to show charisma and influence people, learn the ways of the dark (other) side.