A little bit of happiness
Ok, so I recently looked back at my recent blog entries and noticed a rather negative tone over much of the postings. I decided to go out of my way to write one that is positive and happy, although life recently has been hard for me to do that. I will try my best though…..
I noticed that I have begun to enjoy the natural world around me much more. My senses (all of them) have heightened recently and appreciating the sky, trees, water, everything has become a daily occurrence. When it is 85 degrees out, a gentle breeze blows past me and I smell nature. It brings me peace. I wish I could teach outside some days as it would be very relaxing for me, which I need. Getting in my kayak and being so close to the water makes me so calm and relaxed. Everything else in my universe is muted as I just enjoy the immediate surroundings. I forget my troubles, my stresses, my everything. For most of my life I was unable to do that. I used my stress as my driving engine. It kept me focused and on task. It was my ADHD medicine, if you will. It was that drive that got me my Ph.D. at age 25, honestly.
But now I am a new man, enjoying the art of living in a new way. Gone is my desire to get everything done yesterday. Gone is my desire to be everyone’s problem solver. I have learned to let things go, to embrace the moment. I do not live in the past or the future, but the here and the now. Like I have said here before, I feel like I have started anew. Yes, my problems still exists and have not gone away, but I take a much different attitude towards them.
Everyday I try so hard to enjoy being alive. Some days it is tough, but I have to keep trying. I have always lived every day as if it were the last one I spent on this plane of existence. I hope that feeling will never go away.